Holy Crap! I Have A Blog!

It’s time that even I admit this is getting stupid.  Ya see, here’s this super cool blog thingy with my face all over it, a few thousand readers and a group of people screaming for me to freaking publish something…

Have I?  No!  Not for months!

Why?  Because I now have a wife and a SUPER cute baby who are taking up my time…

But more so because I actually have TOO MUCH to say!  It’s crazy but true.  In fact, this might be a form of info overload I haven’t run into before.

So here’s how I’m going to fix this problem and what’s in it for you:

I need some guest bloggers.

I’d like to get to the point where I’m publishing at least 3 new articles per week about something weird, off the wall, business related or online related.

Are you a great writer?

If so then I want to read your crap.  (More to the point… your BEST crap)

Criteria For Submitting Said Crap To Said Blog:

1. Be a great writer
2. Be fun to read
3. Be willing to only submit 100% original content and have it only published here
4. Be willing to publish on a regular basis
5. Be willing to NOT be paid (basking in my bloggy presents alone should be enough for a family of 4)
6. Be willing to submit your best, original crap here on da blog…

Can you have a “bio box” with a link to your site? Sure… so long as your site doesn’t suck away my will to live.  What I mean by that is your site needs to look pretty solid and offer VERY high quality stuff before you hit people with the most epic call to action “buy my shit”.

So if you love to write and feel you can “hang” post your best info below (NOT your damn phone number!  Holy S*!!@t if I get another idiot telling me to call them so they can ask me a question I might just shave off my face!)

I feel better now.  Don’t you?

Now post!

Jonny

 

 

39 Responses to “Holy Crap! I Have A Blog!”

 

Jonny I would love to submit stuff for your blog! Wanted to let you know to look out for it now. I’m going to write up a fast sample and then submit it later.

How many words are you looking for?

Kara

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm

 

 

That’s a VERY good question… keep it easy: 350 – 500 words will be perfect.

Thanks for asking!

Jonny

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 2:55 pm

 

 

Yea! You need to publish more stuff!

I come here about once a week just to check stuff out and read some of your old posts. Dude, you’re FUNNY AS HELL!

Love your take on everything.

MORE MORE MORE MORE!

Your coolest cyber stalker,

ZTWC

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm

 

 

You generate over 5 figures in revenue per month – so you say. You can’t afford to hire a few exclusive writers, dedicated to get this job done for you?

Seriously, what benefit is it to write exclusive content on a gurus blog where there’s no monetary benefit to them. If you were an up & comer, that would be different. But supposively, you are already successful & supposed to be generating a ton of money.

I honestly can’t believe you would put this blog post out there like this. It’s not only a shame, but in my opinion, I could never even think about buying any product you produce – given you are not even to invest in the people who have the potential to get where you need to go.

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:02 pm

 

 

Hello,
I am Jim from NJ. I would like to write for your blog. It is an interesting thing to do.
What topics do you want?

Jim

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:09 pm

 

 

Wow! Bobby. Looks like somebodies mom woke them up with the old “bucket of live, wet snakes to the face” trick…

I’m going to take a shot in the dark from your response it looks like we have our first “no”?

Bobby. You’re obviously a confused and enraged individual with something sharp in his hand…

So I’ll speak using small words and keep my quick gestures to a minimum…

Yes. I could hire somebody to do this but I’d rather try this out for a while. Nothing wrong with giving some of my ninja mccool subscribers something fun to do.

And make no money? Really? What if they have a nice site with great info and link to it… what if somebody clicks the link and is made happy by the info… and what if… JUST WHAT IF (sorry, didn’t mean to yell and startle you)

… what if they then bought something?

So yes, there are plenty of ways to make loot. Can I hire somebody? Sure! But why?

And maybe… JUST MAYBE (ooo, ooo… sorry, didn’t mean to raise my voice… put the glass shard down you crazy, misguided person and maybe we’ll all get out of here alive…) maybe I’ll end up hiring one of the dudes who posts.

Allz I’m saying, yo

Jonny

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:10 pm

 

 

Jim,

I’m looking for business related stuff that’s presented in an amusing way. Commentary on something… a cool idea or two…

It really comes down to the voice and tone.

Oh yea… correct spelling is optional

Jonny

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

 

 

@Bobby – Damn man… maybe Jonny was just trying to throw u folks a freakin bone…obviously he can go and scour freelance sites and interview writers and all that BS..but isn’t it more fun to mail your list and throw some exposure their way!

I think he’s trying to create a ‘win win’ type of situation…

@Jonny, i’ll hit you up maybe i can throw some Crap on your blog (only the highest quality crap of course)

plus i dont know if you remember that erica douglass girl from the cruise last year but she does a lot of this guest blogging stuff (and has a course on it…) so maybe hit her up..or maybe if she has google alerts she’ll just see this and hit you up

peace out
–Corey

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

 

 

hey Jonny,

I’m trying to make a post here but it seems that it’s not working. Maybe my comment was too long before. Not sure. Thanks

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:14 pm

 

 

Oh Bobby, you sound like a moron. This is a fun opportunity. There are some folks out there who get enough satisfaction from knowing that people simply enjoy reading their writing. You probably aren’t qualified for the job anyway, since you apparently aren’t aware that “supposively” isn’t a word. SUPPOSEDLY, however, is. On that note, critics have reported that your last sentence is missing words, supposedly…

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:20 pm

 

 

Hi Jonny,

How’s it going?

Here’s a sample of some guest posts I could write for you…

4 Steps To Creating An Income Producing List This Week

More and more people are turning to the internet these days due to the weak economy to supplement and in many cases replace their income. The sad thing is that 95% or maybe even more will fail to ever make money online. Many “newbies” think that there is some secret that will make them thousands of dollars per month if they set up a blog or website. The real secret is that there really is no secret. What you want to do is find someone successful and learn everything you can from them and copy their success. Here is a 4 step plan to get you started…

Step 1: Find a hungry market that has a problem.

This can be a number of things. Many people are in the make money online market because so many people want to make more money and there are hundreds of products available that lead people in the right direction.

Step 2: Set up a blog or website that gives away a valuable report regarding the problem in the market in exchange for the visitors email address. Again, if this is a make money market then you may write a report showing people how to make $500 or $1000 a month online.

Step 3: Follow up with your subscribers and provide them with incredible value. In other words, over deliver. You can easily over deliver. If your blog gives away a free report on how to make $500 a month, include a bonus report on the download page that offers more value.

Step 4: After you provide value to your subscribers follow up with them and send them offers. These can be products that you created yourself or products that you can market as an affiliate. Be SURE not to send them to crap offers or you will quickly lose their trust.

Only send them the very best stuff and they will thank you for it.

Bryan Super has been marketing online for the past 3 years, you can find out more about how to LINK THING HERE

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:23 pm

 

 

Nice, what flair and succinctly put response to a negative comment re: Bobby. Yes one must use imagination in these matters..unless one have tunnel vision. Investment would be the operative word to describe the offer to submit posts on Jonny Andrews blog. Investment of money NO..Investment of Time that can manifest into money…Yes. Not to hard to figure..besides the backlink would be great as well.
Fair enough Jonny.

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:27 pm

 

 

To everyone reading Jonny’s Blog!

First off, if you don’t see this as an opportunity to go and grow faster than you could have ever imagined then F’off!

If you are chosen to write for Jonny’s blog, this will accelerate your image and how many new people will become aware of your skills.

When something like this comes a knocking…You can either cry and wine about how you are shocked or you can look at it as another avenue that will get your name out there in a huge way.

Jonny has a lot of followers, gurus, and successful people from a wide range of niches. Don’t you think it is possible that one great way to get on their radar is if they can see what you are made of and how you write?

I personally would love to write for Jonny even if it was only one article a week.

Remember that in order to get paid in this world or even be recognized, you have to take the risk and put in the time. Without it, you might as well go back to the freaking day job you came from.

Because chances are that if you write well and often for Jonny, then more than enough business will come knocking at your door seeking your tallents.

If you don’t see that then this isn’t meant for you and have a great life!

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:33 pm

 

 

Sweet! Offering to be a guest blogger to your suscriber to keep your site fresh… is a freaking smart move!

I guess I will give it a try… I’m gonna eat the finest beluga caviar and the best lobster to make some quality crap… or I could write some content that drains awesomess all over the place…

I’m still can’t make up my mind…

Ughh.. early writer block! Damn I suck!

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm

 

 

Jonny,

Yeah, I would be interested in writing for you. I have started many blogs and wrote tons of stuff in a amusing not so dry (stab your eye) format.

Peace,
Shane

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 3:41 pm

 

 

I am interested in writing for you.

My sample:

Sick & Tired of Congress!

It is tragic to say that all of us are more than disgusted with our legislative leaders. It would be almost comical if it didn’t affect so many people!
These are my top 5 (original) comments to our leaders (?):
1. Just because the Democrats think the sky is azure and the Republicans know the heavens are sapphire – the Tea Party will declare the firmament is cobalt!
2. My 3 young grandchildren play more cooperatively with shared toys – they are all 1 year apart, have different parents and are 3 years or under.
3. As my favorite MBA business professor stated – No decision is a decision!
4. Even an ostrich with his head buried in the sand has need for a drink of water sometime.
5. As we have recently seen – You too can be replaced!

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 5:07 pm

 

 

It’s funny that you mention the thing about people not leaving their phone number and telling people not to call you because I have had a number of people doing this to me thinking that I am the product owner for something I promote. It’s funny and kind-of sad. I always reply and am nice about it, though. It wasn’t until people started doing this that I began to understand how lost the people that venture into this business really are.

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 5:10 pm

 

 

This is a fantastic opportunity that you are allowing all of your followers here to be creative,original and have fun, to have the chance to show off what the can do. Its a great feeling to know that others enjoy what you say which in turn gives you the confidence to excel in writing,poetry,storys etc… Back in the day I started writing poetry about relationships,everyday things that go on and put it on a social site not knowing how well it would go to my surprise I got rave reviews all over from people making me feel great and giving me confidence to do more. You need to start from some where and Jonny you are giving it to them to do just that.

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 5:15 pm

 

 

Hi Jonny,

I would be interested in this. Not to write articles to seriously but still on the topic of IM somewhat. I certainly wouldn’t be able to write you 3 articles a week but one every 1-2 weeks would be good.

I’m 18, from Dublin, Ireland & I’ve been doing Internet Marketing for about two years now. I enjoy writing and I feel this could be of benefit to me, this seems like a laid-back atmosphere in which to start. I’d like to give it a go anyway.

Gimme a shout if you’re still looking for someone.

leomcmackin@gmail.com

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 5:46 pm

 

 

Can I talk about shaved cat juggling? Just Dropped in to say Hi. I’m kinda in the same position as you right now wife brand new daughter life is crazy here as well.

Hope you find your guest bloggers I’m sure you have a few quality people on your list that see the benefit and exposure that they can get from being a guest blogger.. I might be crazy to pass this up.

But I know that you’ll find great writers hehe

And anyway here’s my phone number we can talk about it later.. Sorry couldn’t help it haha

My 2 month old is staring at me with a smile gotta go play daddy now

Later Man
Mario

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 5:56 pm

 

 

Jonny,

You douchebag, who the fuck works for free. . . .and where do you, a glorified nobody have the temerity to even suggest that someone do? Don’t answer that genius, because money is value vote. . . . no money, no value.

If you don’t have talent and trust me you don’t :don’t be asking others to dispense with theirs. . . and another thing all emails from you will be considered spam and reported accordingly shithead. . .

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 6:45 pm

 

 

no way, Jonny you are alive! It’s been a while since I got something from you. Sure, I might submit an article post.

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 7:11 pm

 

 

Ahhh another amazing example of intelligence and humanity raises their doe like eyes and blinks, expectantly at the wonders of the world around them…

To my super ninja readers:

I’m letting these comments through to show you what sort of blessings you can expect to be showered with when an individual (such as “Jeff” aka “You Douchebag” up there) takes a quality look at his life and realizes what a gift to society he has become…

Clearly this lonely individual must have simply missed the previous comments and conversation…

Because there could be no possible way he could be suffering from: “radical shortsightedness syndrome”.

This is a growing epidemic in our industry as I’m sure many of you have noticed.

Symptoms include but are not limited to:

- shortness of breath due to vented anger nobody gives a shit about…

- shrinking genitalia caused by needing to request a loan from his mother so he can continue paying her rent…

- Persistent dry mouth/eyes due to inability to blink or close mouth after feeling the full strength of his own awesomeness immediately following the purchase of a “3 Wolves” T shirt …

I believe we should all embrace everyone with love and cookies.

Now go… Go out and touch someone random!

Jonny

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 7:18 pm

 

 

Family does that to you John. Got a wife and three kids and blogging almost goes out the window!

Posted on April 6, 2011 at 9:25 pm

 

 

G’day from OZ! My site above is popular blog with 70 articles for you to look at. Make sure you read some.Have great sense of humour and used some but being from OZ wasn’t sure what was acceptable to world readers. Am excellent writer and can write articles on any topic. You sound bloody rude but I know your outrageous style and even though you come over as a jerk, I also know you’re a successful go-getter. I trust you to look after me and mine. If you don’t like my stuff, so be it, the sun will still rise in the morning.
Best.
Kevin

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 5:15 am

 

 

New York City, New York State.
So Nice – They named it twice.

Not So Nice When You Can’t Afford the Rent.
New York City’s not so pretty when you can’t afford the high cost of living.

When the “Great Recession” hit in 2009…
What did one New Yorker get for his 10 years of faithful service working for UPS?

LAID OFF…

They say “crime doesn’t pay”. Sometimes hard work doesn’t always pay. After 10 years of hard work, dedication and faithful service, he got “The Boot”.

Great he thought… now I can go full-time online and make an internet fortune.

After 99 weeks buying and implementing every “get rich” money making program imaginable – His unemployment money was coming to an end.

And so was the lease on his apartment.

He spent so much money buying “how to make money programs”, he was 2 months behind on his rent. He was 57 years old and about to become Homeless in Heartless Harlem, NY.

He was getting kicked out of his apartment and
would be living (literally) on the “mean streets” of New York City.

After 2 years of buying and trying countless money making (taking) programs all he had to show for it was a harddrive full of info and… $30,000+ in credit card debt.

He had bought every get-rich quick program, attended $1,000 Make Money Seminars, paid big money for coaching… Nothing worked for him.

He spent money he couldn’t afford on Google
Adwords, bought countless domain names, built websites, bought PLR, etc. He was always sure these “investments in time and resources” would pay off… They Never Did.

The only people getting rich were the people selling him the programs and taking his money. He wanted success desperately. Now he was just derperate. It was now “do or die” time. He had to Make $2,500 in 1 week or he would become homeless.

So he ran this ad on Flippa.com
Bidding starts at just $1 – No Reserve
$10,000 Value, High-Potential Site.

Guess what happened next?
To be continued…

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 5:19 am

 

 

Dude!
U so got to pick me! D
I really love writing stuff…
I am fun )
And… wait a second…
R u even reading this? ^.-
lol joke P
PICK MEEEEE!!
a 13 yr old girl who is bored like hell! D
XD Hahaha.

PEACE! xxx Natiie!

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 5:21 am

 

 

Hey Johny,

I’m first time visitor here but I’d still love to guest blog here.

I’m an old time blogger, you can check out my website for proof.

Thanks,
Igor Kheifets

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 5:50 am

 

 

J.A.,

You have been quite for some time. Nice to see you back. I think it’s funny that some people don’t have either a) a sense of humor, b) a sense of adventure, or c) a sense of any kind.

If everyone followed the “don’t-try-anything-new-stick-to-what-everyone-else-does-you-have-to-drink-the-koolaid” systems out there, then there would be no innovation and no change.

I’m a big fan of Einstein’s work. I’m also a quote kind of guy. So, here’s a quote from Einstein for the two meatheads that are not “getting” what you’re doing:

“Fear or stupidity has always been the basis of most human actions”

More posts to come…

DG

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 6:34 am

 

 

Dude, you had to take it out on the epic 3 wolf shirt. You lost major cool points on that one.

The epic 3 wolf shirt did nothing to you!

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 7:00 am

 

 

Don’t do it Jonny!

I come to this blog for one reason. To read YOUR stuff… You’re about the most entertaining writer around and no one can do this blog justice for you. No one cares if you don’t get a post in for long Periods of time…

Something tasty written once a month from you is a helluva lot better than a knock of Jonny post written by an asshole like “jeff” above.

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 8:30 am

 

 

Hey Jonny, I am more a mindset person. I am interested in writing articles about changing your mindset to be able to get results from what you do, results as in money, good cheers, and the like.

It is eerie, find guest blogging gigs was on my agenda today, and there comes your email. Love co-incidences like this.

I also teach list building and facebook pages on different blogs, but for now I am hammering this money-magnet mindset I am working on.

I am one of your product owners, by the way. Great software, the best I found in its category.

Thanks.
Sophie

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 9:48 am

 

 

JA,

We all know the whack jobs like Booby and Geoff above are what make our business so interesting.

In all fairness to them, they probably just haven’t been able to crab for a few days being so tightly wound up and that would make anyone lash out randomly on a kind (yet crazy) soul like you

As to the writing invite to the list idea, I am sure you won’t mind if I totally rip you off on that…

Bill

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 10:31 am

 

 

Let me be shared.
Will never quit or give up.

&

Skill set – Is what my mind gets to.

I don’t really write. I fly kites.

Seriously though, I’ll get the job done.. Let me give it the thought.

I’m on craigslist under general labor.

Okay now enough

bye

Posted on April 7, 2011 at 4:06 pm

 

 

I am interested to send some writings on various issues..but tell me how are you going to pay me ? Also tell me what type of topics/writings/blogs etc are more in demand? Also tell me to whom to send and in what format etc.,?

Posted on April 8, 2011 at 4:04 am

 

 

Wanna get on the edge of your seat with your heart pounding? Check out the above site for two of the thriller novels that are giving the thriller/mystery readers the edge of their seat , can’t put it down fiction they ever read. “I Dream of Fathom” and the High tech: “nomad VI” on barnes and noble by Charles Kelley are two, can’t put them down novels that get the job done. These are not novels for the faint of heart, but for the die-hard mystery/thriller reader that thinks they can outguess the author about who the culprits are, but just can’t get it done until the author reveals it in the last chapters. High-tech, “nomad VI” is in the cold war era with the CIA, FBI, SECRET SERVICE, KGB, MILITARY INTELLIGENCE and NASA all getting into the mix.

Posted on April 8, 2011 at 1:54 pm

 

 

Ok, before I write my article I need to vent for you because you are too nice Jonny. I realize you don’t need my help, but, I am gonna shoot my mouth off anyway.

Please, for those of you who must be negative, STOP! I cannot believe that people don’t appreciate the chance we are all given here. Jonny is an experienced marketer with a successful track record. He has given away more useful information than most “Guru’s will sell you. Don’t get me wrong, he does these things to profit, like we all are here to do. So listen and be mindful of the message (JEDI STUFF). If he liked your article and picked you to write for his blog, well, just image what one could learn just from his critique from. I just paid shipping on an untitled book from F. Kern, he wants people to read it then help him with a title for it. I am not a fool it’s an incredible marketing tactic for Mass Control 2.0 all over again and it’s awesome. I learned a very valuable tactic for $6.00 and the book is giving away all kinds of useful info. Don’t be so foolish as to look at what the marketing master is getting , but look at what value you are getting. Jonny also talks to us like one of the dudes from the neighborhood. No big crazy encyclopedia run ons, and only uber ninja crap we can use. Can I afford all his stuff? No. I do, however, greatly enjoy the read.

So in my finish of the, for Jonny even though he didn’t ask me to rant, write an article if you want to and if you want to don’t, leave everyone else alone.

Chad A. Wilgus

Success isn’t just being wealthy, but being consistent with one’s progress. Chad A. Wilgus -1997

http://ezguitarlessonsonline.com

Article to come soon.

Posted on April 9, 2011 at 11:56 pm

 

 

Article for critique.

Learning Guitar Just Got EZ!

In today’s world new things take a long time to learn and it’s not easy to fit training into your busy schedules. I had been wanting to learn to play guitar for the longest time, but I just couldn’t fit it into my busy life. Along with some of my friends we started to look around for the best and least time consuming way to get the guitar lessons we needed. We had to look at few different things to make our decision.

There were three major things we needed to find that would allow us to learn to play the guitar with out slowing down our work and family lives.

1. Ease of learning: Can the lessons be taught to anyone who wants to learn? Beginner to advanced, all skill sets need to be able to advance from the training. As we learn and become more skilled I want to be able to stay with the same guitar instructor and move my skills to a higher levels over time.

2. Schedule flexibility: Man I work a swing shift and its like pulling teeth to find guitar lessons that could fit my busy lifestyle. Some days I would work days and the next week I would be o nights, there was no way I could ever find the instructor that would work with me on that messed up schedule. I would need guitar lessons that could be where I needed them when I needed them. This would be a challenge finding the training I needed.

3. Cost effective: Wow, what a variable, I never expected the different prices that were involved. Guitar lessons in a group were really affordable, but, you have to be able to go to a place and take the guitar lessons at a certain time every week. There’s no way with my schedule I could ever do that. I also would like a little more one on one training than that would offer. Private lessons can be a little more personal and schedule friendly, however, I still cannot find someone that can work around my work schedule. As far as cost included from a private instructor, well it can go up as high as several hundred dollars a lesson.

After looking around for months to find the perfect solution, I came across a unique model for learning to play the guitar. It is guitar lessons online. Simple,fast and affordable, one on one video instruction. Over 3000 guitar lessons online, several instructors and lessons fro beginner to advanced. Awesome this is everything I was looking for. Video lessons can be played and paused at any hour of the day or night and questions are only an email or a phone call away. Wait a minute what about the cost? Oh yeah I found out you get all this for less than fifteen bucks a month, and with no contract or obligation. I have been learning and loving this new service, and if you want to try them out to, just check out the site that is clickable on my name above and put in the code 617 on one of the links to get a trial of 24 lessons at no charge. It’s only good for a limited time, so go there now and enjoy the lessons. Have a tuned in day.

Chad A. Wilgus

Posted on April 10, 2011 at 1:21 am

 

 

Jonny

Thanks for the opportunity…I would dearely love to write for your blog. I am a striving, Will-be Marketer.. most passionate about the gud ole IM niche. But, as we all know in this most beguiling and challanging niche , you’ve got to be grate even to be gud! I’m not grate enough yet, (as you can see, not the best “fake it till u make it” merchant around)…Only one of Sooo many unspoken secret shames. But, by basking in the reflected Glory of Ninja Jonny, I will surely get the adoring raving fan base I so justly deserve.

I am thinking a diary thing. Possible working titles, Chronicles of InterNarnia? SourceCode11-Daze of A Marketing Meathead? Bridges of NooB County? Desperate HAUShusband??

By way of example, recently befallen disasters. All exited about my latest “shur fyre winnur”…Spent a week building it, slaving over slow burning http://FTP..(lots of obese video files)finally got her up..Then in my strive for perfection, managed to delete most of it Ar#*#*!!..Guess what?? No Backup..what a MORON!
Then to top it off, logged into one of my wordpress sites, (to install the latest “traffic getting plug-in” to enhance my pathetic dribble of visitors)..Only to find my sidebar with my precious “BUY BUTTON” has deserted me?..obviously gone looking for a better HOME-page, where a few clicks will make him, her. IT? feel more wanted, needed, LOVED.

So, guess what?..managed to break the code on that baby toooo. Genius, maybe I should try THE FBI???…Wadu U Fink? Let me Know..Second thoughts Don’t..

Later..MalkieM

Posted on April 13, 2011 at 12:39 pm